Wednesday, December 9, 2009
• The Dating Game-
This classic dating game show is about a bachelorette or bachelor who would ask questions to three hidden bachelors or bachelorettes in order to figure out who they wanted to date. The questions would be written in advance on cards to ask the contestants. The contestants are not allowed to see each while they ask questions. The same questions could be asked to multiple contestants. The bachelor/bachelorette would make her choice based solely on the answers to her questions. Sometimes they would answer comically, seriously, or romantically. This show began the craze of dating shows similar to it. It is a way to find a date for someone based on personality rather than looks. This type of show has now been recreated in many different ways.
• Blind Date-
My analysis of this dating show about people a set on a date with someone they do not know or never met aka a “blind date”. Most of the shows are people who are matched up but really shouldn’t be. They go out and do random activities to see if they like the person and then at the end of the blind date the person decides if they want to go on a second date. This show is more entertainment than it is of the reality of dating. They often find very outrageous and unique people to keep the show’s ratings up. It is interesting to see how this show has a variety of people with different interests and the outcomes are usually different. Some things to note about dating seen through this show is how if the people connect well on the date then they can sometimes lead to “hooking up” on the first date while others sometimes will not even make it thru the full date. Through the shows’ series there was two couple who eventually lead to marriage from meeting on a blind date.
• Dating In The Dark-
This is a reality show where people looking to date meet in a completely dark house and has to decide whether or not they want to date someone based on the dates they have in complete darkness. I found this show to be the most interesting with the question of “What’s more important, looks or personality?” Based on my analysis of this show most of the people who did this did not end up staying with the person they picked. They would choose to both go on another date less than 40% of the time. This means that either the people really do base a lot on the looks of the other people or they just didn’t like their personality enough to continue a relationship.
• Parental Control-
This is a show where parents interview prospective partners that they want their kid to date instead of their current partner. Then, the son or daughter goes on a date with the two people the parents chose and the kid has to decide whether to keep their current relationship or chose one of the new ones.
Even though this show seem pretty staged by the producers it does give sort of an idea of what the current generation of teens and young people think of dating and relationships. Since this is an MTV show it is targeted for a younger audience. When I watched this show all I could think is how I would not want my parent’s to be picking a partner for me and I would never participate in a show like that. Another issue I had with it was that almost every episode was the same plot. There was a son or daughter and their boyfriend or girlfriend was a jerk who would sit on the couch and be rude to the parents while making comments on the dates they were watching. The personalities of the people were always the same.
• Date My Mom-
In this dating show the contestant has to date 3 separate moms in order to find out which one of their daughters they want to date. They do not see the person they will be dating until they actually pick the mom they liked the most. This is also an MTV show and it is produced similar their other dating shows. Many of the mom act as if they are trying to sell their daughters to the guy. I want to point out that this is one of the only shows that have guys only picking the girls. Most other shows are equally split between guys and girls yet however there are a couple of episodes where it is a lesbian girl trying to find another girl.
• A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila-
A reality show where an internet model Tila Tequila is a hot girl looking for “love” from 12 guys and 12 girls because she is a bisexual. The girl-on-girl action is probably what gave the show its ratings because otherwise it is just another person looking for romance reality show. From the episodes I watched she was usually just making out with the contestants and would dress in very revealing outfits. The show had contestants that were also just as scandalous as Tila. There was a lot of unnecessary drama on the show and it was probably created because there was nothing else for these contestants to do.
In conclusion, I think that the dating shows on television are relatively far from reality and they are created for entertainment purposes only, not to find real love. Based on my analysis I think the way the media has portrayed dating over the years has changed the way the younger generation today thinks of dating as well. They are less likely to form strong healthy relationships and are more likely just to “hook up” on the first date with the main objective being sex. Also the shows on MTV are more likely to be dating shows based on the looks rather than personality and they are more likely to be objectifying towards women.
In the years 1920's to 1945, dating involved a more informal dating than ever before. For the first time there were no chaperones on dates between males and females. The dates required no formal commitment to each other and there was more freedom. Instead of the man coming to the women’s house, they went “out”.
Before the 1920's going dancing was a group activity but now it became couple oriented. The access to cars had a huge impact on dating practices. Having a car now enabled couples to have more privacy and intimacy. The practice of "petting" spread over all the dating couples now more than ever and there were even "petting" parties.
In the year 1950, the average age for a male marrying was 22 and for a female 20. This is because dating activities began at a much lower age, in junior high dating was common. The youth that did not go to college married soon after graduation, and after one to two years of courtship. If woman did go to college, they were seen as having only one goal, to "land" a man or getting their “MRS” degree.
From the 1960's to the present there have been some drastic changes in the dating. Feminism had a big impact on dating rituals. Women were now empowered more than ever to think of themselves not as just a wife but also a human being. Between the years 1960 to 1972 the amount of women in colleges greatly increased. The youth culture also began to develop a more liberal attitude towards pre-marital sex. Birth control was now very common for couples to have. The pill went on the market in 1960 and within three years more than 2 million American women were using it. The average first intercourse was now at age 16 for males and age 17 for females. In the year 1980 it was reported that 80 percent of males and 65 percent of females have engaged in pre-marital sex. By the year 1988, the age of first marriages was now 25.9 male and 23.6 females.
In the 1970's and 1980's dating changed and the following ways: there was a greater opportunity for informal opposite sex interaction, dating became less formal, and there was no longer a set progression of stages from first meeting to marriage. The dating system has become more pluralistic over time.
Dating is a practice that is highlighted again and again in the popular media. Dating is affected by our cultural norms of the time and place. Sociologists look at a particular time and place to understand the ways in which a society works and therefore how the people in that society go about activities like dating.
Dating at a young age is characterized as fun and is done for companionship rather than as a serious activity for the purpose of finding a lifelong mate. Sociologists claim that in the current generation of college students this lack in interest in serious dating is a reflection of seeing their parents and friends' parents’ divorce. Relationships were another source of concern for students. Nearly one-third of all college freshmen grew up with one or no parent. Male controlled media have enhanced an environment in which to define women as sex objects. Men and women today in college are moving away from intimacy into group dating as a result of seeing their parents' generation marriages end in divorce. The Purpose of marriage has shifted from economic necessity to companionship, resulting in dramatic changes in obligations and expectations.
Pornography and sex shops have influence dating as well. Pornography and sex shops grew and appeared more frequently in cities. Images of sex became more visible to all people including children. This resulted in an increase of the number of people having premarital sex, and forming serious relationships earlier in life.
The Internet has created a new place and new way for people to meet others and interact. It has become a place for casual sex and a place to meet lifetime partners. It is also a place of gender, and personality bending fantasy, where people can pretend to be whoever they please. These are just a few of the changes that affected the way people go about meeting their mate, and how they interact with them. Dating habits are always changing over time, but one can see how the many social aspects in our lives are linked.
The history of dating, the automobile had a large effect on the way girls and boys interacted romantically. They were no longer subjected to the supervision of parents, and they became more comfortable with sexuality as they were allowed more mobility after World War I. Not all women were staying home, they were able to get out and work alongside the men. The invention of television presented models of how to go on dates for adolescent teens. Dresses got shorter, there was more freedom, and the generation of kids beginning to date took advantage as petting got heavier, and relationships were more serious before marriage than they ever have been. In the 1960's the controversial birth control pill became available to women. This allowed couples to have sexual intercourse without fearing a teenage pregnancy. With the introduction of birth control, and the more common use of illegal drugs, casual sex was becoming more common. The summer of love was famous for people having multiple partners and experiencing "free love." This also meant a sexual revolution for Gay rights.
(Consuelo Rosales GG)
male 27.1 %
female 72.9 %
2 What is your orientation?
Straight 91.4 %
Gay 2.9 %
Lesbain 1.4 %
Bi 2.9 %
Other 1.4 %
3 What is your favorite music?
Rock 20.3 %
Metal 1.4 %
Pop/R&B 24.6 %
Country 8.7 %
Rap 4.3 %
Hip Hop 14.5 %
Other 26.1 %
4 Are your parents divorced?
Yes 35.7 %
No 64.3 %
Which is most important in a relationship?
Physical Attraction 8.7 %
Personality 91.3 %
6 Are you in a relationship?
Yes 67.1 %
No 32.9 %
7 How long was your longest relationship?
1-5 months 8.6 %
6-12 months 7.1 %
1year 17.1 %
2 years 15.7 %
3 years 12.9 %
4 or more 38.6 %
8 What do first impressions tell you?
everything 14.5 %
somethings 72.5 %
nothing 10.1 %
other 2.9 %
9 How long has your longest Friendship lasted?
1-6 months 7.4 %
7-12 months 4.4 %
1-2 years 14.7 %
3 or more years 73.5 %
10 When should your first kiss be?
1st date 2.9 %
3rd date 17.1 %
whenever 52.9 %
notsure 27.1 %
11 Have you ever cheated on someone?
yes 34.8 %
no 65.2 %
12 Have you ever been dumped
Yes 50 %
no 50 %
13 Do you view yourself as emotionally mature?
yes 88.4 %
no 11.6 %
14 Is it hard to understand the opposite sex?
Yes 64.3 %
No 35.7 %
15 Is it hard to understand people of the same sex?
yes 62.9 %
No 37.1 %
16 Do people have a predetermined orientation?
yes 47.1 %
no 41.4 %
other 11.4 %
17 Is sex important for a good relationship?
yes 74.3 %
no 25.7 %
18 What is the best way to break up with someone?
write a letter 1.4 %
just tell them 1.4 %
just text them 8.6 %
in person 84.3 %
other 4.3 %
19 Do you often hurt people's feelings who are close to you?
yes 25.7 %
no 74.3 %
20 Is love a feeling or an act?
feeling 34.3 %
act 21.4 %
other/both 44.3 %
For this section of research I will be analyzing 5 different songs from different genres of music. Each of these artists has a past and a reason why they chose to write about how they see dating and relationships in their lives. In our culture, music has a drastic and sometimes outstanding effect on the lives of the people who listen to it. In the examples below, we see differences in genres as well as similarities. These artists have made major effects on their fans, whether they intend to or not…
Starting with this song exemplifies the worst of the worst as far as how to treat your partner. This song is about Eminem and his wife Kim. In the entire song, he talks about how much he want to hurt or kill her. With violent songs like this in our media, we have to question how young people will look at violence in dating. Parents should be sure that their kids grow up knowing how to treat people in the dating environment.
Artist: Taylor Swift
In this song Taylor Swift addresses what is probably one of the most classic dating stories- a girl hoping for a guy on the football team and their first date. This is the perfect example of where we get the ideas in our heads of what would be the perfect date, or the perfect relationship. These types of songs instill the classic dating ideas into our minds.
Artist: Three Days Grace
Song: Let It Die
This song talks about the change from loving a person in the beginning and after time passes, they no longer care about each other. In the song, he says that he never meant to let it die, but he doesn’t care about her anymore. This song portrays one of the most common reasons why relationships don’t last- one of the people just stops caring about the other person. This is an interesting but common theme amongst relationships these days.
Song: The Wrong Way
The band Sublime is another one of those bands that does not have a healthy regard for what is “politically correct”. In this song, Sublime talks about the fact that he wants to do thing to a girl that he knows are wrong, but he does them anyway. To most people, this song is a very unhealthy look at what dating is. This outrageous look at dating is only acceptable because people realize that it is just a song, but the problem is that it will still desensitize people.
Artist: Death Cab For Cutie
Song: I Will Follow You Into The Dark
This song is an example of the softer side of the media’s view of dating. In this song, they talk about the desire to follow their lover into the dark of death. They address the fact that even death cannot stop their love for each other. This is a very poetic and soft spoken song and most people do not have the taste for this kind of music, so the message that is most often pushed to the mass media is one of violence and pain in the dating environment.
These artists have affected society as well as society has affected them. We all should be aware of what music we listen to and what affect it has on us. Music has the ability to sooth the soul or to provoke it.
Derek Alward – Garden Grove
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Victorian Formality (1837-1901)- During this time more men and women devoted time and money to dating, thanks to the Industrial Revolution, it provided people with extra spare time on their hands for leisure activities. But in this era dating was so formal , it wouldn’t have been considered appropriate for a man to simply walk up to a woman he was interested in and speak, instead they would have already had to have been formally introduced and if interest arose the gentleman would present his card to her….lol boy have things changed. With the blessing their comes a curse, excess spare time and increased knowledge allowed for the truth to be twisted, and the results for misdirected dating is the outcome.
21st Century- Life now is defined by luxury and the time to make choices. Young men and women have the opportunities to make substantial amounts of money before marriage, and have the lovely assets that come along with it. The common lifestyle and role of male and female have changed greatly over the centuries and it affects the dating/courting process. The undeniable freedom to engage in promiscuous activities due to adolescents surging hormones threatens the moral values which are left in our society. In this new day in age we lost order and self control and the future of ever finding true love can be ruined.
This article is comprised of research based on an online survey of 15,246 individuals and their use of the Internet personals and adult websites. Findings suggest that the Internet functions not only as a means of screening for desired characteristics, but also as a shield against prejudice in real life.
2. Collins, W., Welsh, D., & Furman, W. (2009). Adolescent Romantic Relationships. Annual Review of Psychology, 60(1), 631.
This article incorporates observational methods of research as well as questionnaires of adolescents. Researchers use Internet sites such as Facebook and MySpace to recruit sample subjects. Casual involvement in activities taking place with romantic partners, is termed “hooking up” and the adolescent practices are examined here.
3. Subrahmanyam, R., Greenfield, P. , Tynes, B. (2004). Constructing Sexuality and Identity in an Online Teen Chat Room. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 25(6), 651-666.
This article explores how issues of sexuality and identity are constructed in a teen chat room. The research used a qualitative discourse methodology to analyze a half-hour transcript from a monitored teen chat room, comparing it to a second transcript in a prior study.
4. Wilson, S., Peterson, L. (2002). Anthropology of Online Communities. Annual Review of Anthropology, 31(1), 449-467.
This research seeks to identify promising new directions for study such as how power and access manifest in the arena of the Internet. American teenage dating practices in chat rooms –and community maintenance in an online lesbian café- illustrates how offline social roles and existing cultural ideologies are played out in online communication.
5. Abowitz, D., Knox, D., Zusman, M., & Mcneely, A. (2009). Beliefs About Romantic Relationships: Gender Differences Among Undergraduates. College Student Journal, 43(2), 276-284.
Research was conducted on 326 undergraduate students. They filled out an anonymous 74 item questionnaire designed to assess beliefs about men, women, and relationships. Significant differences were found in 14 items
6. Turner Strong, P. (1996). Feminist Theory and the “Invasion of the Heart” in North America. Ethnohistory, 43(4), 683-712.
This article contains women’s response’s to colonization and Christianity on the subject of gender roles and dating customs.
7. Bucholtz, M. (2002). Youth and Cultural Practice. Annual Review of Anthropology, 31(1), 525-552.
The anthropology of youth is characterized by its attention to the agency of young people, and its interest in how identities emerge. The research usually approaches adolescence from the perspective of adulthood, but here aims to focus on youth cultural practices, such as dating.
8. Jones, D. (1995). Sexual Selection, Physical Attractiveness, and Facial Neoteny: Cross Cultural Evidence and Implications. Current Anthropology, 36(5), 723-748.
This article focuses on an anomaly associated with physical attractiveness- in our species, males seem to be more concerned than females with physical attractiveness of potential sex partners. Research on five populations, examine attraction to neotenous facial proportions (large eyes, small nose, full lips) and relative “attraction” of these populations.
9. Giordano, P., Longmore, M., & Manning, W. (2006). Gender and the Meanings of Adolescent Romantic Relationships: A Focus on Boys. American Sociological Review, 7(2), 260-287.
Researchers findings are based on structured interviews with over 1,300 Ohio adolescents participating. Also, findings based on in-depth relationship history narratives. The article examines the experiences of adolescent boys and girls in the context of the romantic dyad. It focuses on the nature on communication, emotion, and influence within adolescent dating relationships.
10.Thorne, A., Coupland, J. (1998). Articulations of Same Sex Desire. Journal of Sociolinguistics, 2(2), 233-257.
This article examines dating advertisements used in formulating identities. It acknowledges the reality that homosexuals do not have ready access to
family-centered life-events and rituals, which lowers their ability to meet and form intimate relationships. Research is based on written text ads and spoken (telephone-based) texts. Sub-samples considered were 100 lesbian and 100 gay male ads.
11.Kurdek, L. (2007). Avoidance Motivation and Relationship Commitment in Heterosexual, Gay Male, and Lesbian Partners. Personal Relationships, 14(2), 291-306.
Research analyzes dating, engaged and married people on the issue of commitment or personal dedication, constraint, and avoidance motivation. Findings show that gay male and lesbian partners lack the social and institutional supports that help to stabilize relationships.